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How to be a Romance Writer at a Party

By on Saturday, Apr 22, 2017 in Uncategorized | 14 comments

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Here’s how it usually goes for me at a social gathering, where the attendees are often distant business associates of my husband’s. For some reason, some people are fascinated by my profession. Hmm, wonder why? Who knew writing love stories could be so intriguing!

Here’s usually how it goes:

“So, what do you write?” is often the first question someone asks me. (And I am NOT sexist, but this type of dogged Question Griller is usually male.)

“I write romance,” I say.

“Ooooh,” comes the reply. “You mean like Fifty Shades?” (This is usually followed by elbow nudging and eyebrow wailing in my husband’s direction.)

“Um, that’s erotica,” I say. “Sorry, I don’t write erotica.”

“Oh! I know! You mean like those Harlequin books my mom used to read?”

“Um, yes, sort of. My books are about love and families and heartache and struggle…”

(Cuts me off.) “Are your books like those ones with Fabio on the cover?”

“Well, Fabio hasn’t been on a romance novel cover since the early 90’s. They’re a little different now.”

“Oh.” (Disappointed.) “Well, do they have sex in them?”

“A little. But mostly they’re about love and families and heartache and struggle…”

(Completely uninterested now and turning to my husband):  “I bet you’re the one she does her research on, huh?”

My husband has heard this question at least a hundred times (and I’ve only been published for two years!). So in good humor, he usually says something ridiculous like, “Well, if she used me for research, her books would be Triple X.”

To which I usually roll my eyes, and he smiles, and the person finally stops asking questions.

I don’t often get on my soapbox. I don’t say how wonderful romance novels are, or why I read them and write them. God knows I’ve tried, because many poor souls need educated about what a romance novel is, but the truth is, this type of person doesn’t really want to know. Or should I say, isn’t very open to learning.

Good thing my husband has had a good woman to show him the way. He’s so much more enlightened than those other folks 🙂

I did just give a fun library talk this week, where I talked about all these things. Too bad that guy from the party wasn’t there, huh?

Fun fact:  Did you know Fabio wrote some romance novels of his own in the 90’s? Go Fabio! Brains and brawn! 🙂



  1. Avatar Amanda Uhl

    Saturday, April 22, 2017

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    Cute post Miranda:) I have often said, admitting I am a romance reader and now writer was a lot like “coming out of the closet.” Haha

    • Avatar Miranda Liasson

      Saturday, April 22, 2017

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      Yes, I think like anything else in life where you go a little against the grain, it requires a bit of conviction to stand your ground. And it does give you a very small, tiny inkling of what might be involved if you really did have to come out of the closet, and how brave a feat that must be. Thanks for sharing, Amanda 🙂

  2. Avatar Doni

    Saturday, April 22, 2017

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    Those people are narrow minded & rude!! You are a wonderful writer & only deserve praise!!
    Romance novels rule!!

    • Avatar Miranda Liasson

      Saturday, April 22, 2017

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      Hi Doni! For very educated people, I have to agree! But it’s a great reminder not to judge people or things we may think we know about but guess what–we really don’t :). Thanks for your support and yes, romance rocks! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  3. Avatar Sandy K

    Saturday, April 22, 2017

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    It drives me batty when people ask those kinds of questions. You can tell that these people have already decided what to believe in and have no intention of changing their narrow minds. As for the reference on using a spouse for research, I would ask them if Stephen King used his spouse/relatives for writing his horror novels. As for writing romance, I find it hard when those horrible naysayers are your closest relatives, who are embarrassed about what I write…until I get published, that is. Until then, I continue to quietly write for my own entertainment and enrichment.

    • Avatar Miranda Liasson

      Saturday, April 22, 2017

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      Ha ha ha, I will have to use that Stephen King line! That’s hilarious. Sandy, I do want to tell you to stand proud. Regardless of when you get published, I don’t think this “problem” is going to go away any time soon. Be a tall and proud writer of romance 🙂

  4. Avatar Laura A. Critchfield

    Saturday, April 22, 2017

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    Nice post- Miranda- I’m headed off to a party right now, and I’m sure I’ll get “the question”! And thanks for the Fabio covers- they made me smile!

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