Life was a lot different before texting. If you are my age (cough cough, old enough to have kids in college), you remember when you were in college and you had to call your parents every Sunday night from the phone hanging on the wall in your dorm room. No privacy and you had to keep it short because, well…long distance cost money. Going a week without talking to your parents was supposed to encourage independence. And build character, right?
However, I can remember sneaking into the dorm room and using that phone at non-Sunday night times when I was overwhelmed or upset or just plain had a crappy day. Nothing sounded so good as my mother’s voice on the other end saying it’s going to be okay. Sometimes, you just need to hear that, you know?
Now, my kids, who are all in college or grad school, can find us twenty-four-seven. I’m not sure that’s good as far as cutting the old umbilical cord. On the other hand, we have a relationship with them that doesn’t entail both of us being stoic like our immigrant forebears and seeing how long we can go without talking to each other. (Except my eighteen-year-old son, who might possibly be fine with that and needs a reminder every Sunday, CALL YOUR PARENTS TODAY, WE LOVE YOU AND WANT TO TALK TO YOU.) Anything in caps, he gets.
The girls are much more chatty. Maybe, at times, too chatty. Sometimes, I get texted free-fall stuff that I can’t or shouldn’t respond to. Such as this from my daughter:
I can’t find someone to cover my shift.
Um, okay, well, what am I supposed to do about that? I can commiserate, maybe send her a crying-your-eyes-out emoji or something like that.
“Hello, is anyone else out there?”
Several hours later, I get another text:
I really can’t find someone to cover my shift.
At this point, it seems that advice is being requested. I think of these kinds of texts not really as needing advice but more as, is anyone out there listening to me? And well, we all need someone to listen to us, right? My response: Start begging. (I hope that was compassionate enough.)
With my other daughter, who is living on her own in another state going to grad school, we share recipes, advice, (Can I use the same bottle of Afrin for another cold?) My answer: (Yes, it’s your own boogies), and text each other during the Bachelor every week. On a first date one time, she even texted me, I’m having a great time on my date! which warmed my heart.
Sometimes—most of the time, I think—they don’t want advice at all, they just want someone to be on the other end when they’re sad or frustrated or upset—or happy. I think of this often in terms of my own mom, who passed away long ago. How many times do I still silently call out to her? A lot. I like to think she’s listening just like she did before countless times.
So yeah, they can text me all they want and I won’t complain. And as long as I’m able, I’ll answer back.
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Saturday, February 27, 2016
I really enjoyed this post Miranda 🙂 It’s funny because I text my daughter (high school) and my son (elementary school) when they’re in the same room with me. How funny is that?
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Hi IreAnne! Yes, that’s hilarious. When my son is home he texts me from his room. I’m like, get over here and talk to me in person already! Thanks for stopping by.
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Great post. I’m just beginning to experience this now with my oldest in college. At first he was horrible about staying in touch. He even set his voicemail so that when we called we would get a personalized computer voice saying, “Hi, Mom. Simon can’t come to the phone right now.” Thankfully he has gotten better about responding to texts and calls. Last night I actually talked to him for 30 minutes! Amazing:)
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Lol. Sounds like your sone, like mine, has to be in the mood to talk :). Thanks for stopping by, Amanda!
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Great post Miranda! The worst text I got was right after my daughter moved to Nashville. It was in the middle of the night and she wrote to say she was in the bathtub with her pillow and iPad. She awoke to strange sirens going off and her phone said there was a tornado nearby!
Both the hubs and I grew up and or have family in the Midwest so we know what that siren means but my daughter grew up in New Mexico where we just don’t have tornados. I remember thinking that was probably the ONE thing I forgot to mention to my daughter before she left home! (Bad Mommy!)
I asked how she knew to go into the bathroom in her apartment (there was no basement) and she wrote back, ” I Googled it!” LOL
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Tammy, your daughter sounds enterprising, just like her mom :). Glad that turned out okay. Thanks for coming by 🙂
Monday, February 29, 2016
I love texting. It keeps me in touch with my younger kids in a way I never did with my older ones. I just wish my dad likeD texting too!
Monday, February 29, 2016
Hi Sheri! Yes, texting has changed the way we communicate with people, mostly for the better, I think 🙂